One of the problems with SM is the social programming against it. Our culture isn’t used to the idea that sex is fun and pushing one’s limits in search of pleasure is a damned enjoyable thing to do. Moreover, there are many people who confuse fantasy and reality where SM is concerned, and who think that SM players do likewise.
In this FAQ posting I have attempted to explain the ways I and my friends feel about SM. I am doing this because I used to know very little about SM; I only knew I was interested. Through s.s.b-b and lots of new friends and LOTS of wonderful experiences, I learned. My life has been enriched and my relationships deepened and strengthened by my experience with SM. Now I want to describe all that in as open and frank a manner as I know how.
If you believe SM is sick or disgusting, that is your prerogative. This FAQ makes clear how it is not generally unhealthy to its practitioners; it is up to you whether you accept this information or not. You do not, however, have the right to stifle or censor those who would discuss this aspect of themselves, because of your personal opinion about their practices.
If you don’t think you’d like it, that’s more than fine with me; I would just ask that you be open to what the SM community may have to teach about consensuality, negotiation, safety, and exploration.
When I first started fantasizing about SM-related activities I was very young indeed–under ten years old. I don’t know where these aspects of my sexuality came from; certainly not from my family. But when I started learning about SM, I was first excited that there were others out there who enjoy these things, and then depressed that there is lots of wrong and harmful information out there about SM people and what we do. This FAQ list is my attempt to help spread some better information, in the hopes that the more everyone knows about what SM really is (and what it is not), the harder it will be for people to use twisted facts to condemn others because of their sexuality.
Also, there are things I’m describing that I don’t enjoy (at least not yet 🙂 This is not the FAQ List of the Gods, so don’t take it as such; listen to what I say and draw your own conclusions. And fer pete’s sake, post to soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm with your questions and thoughts and fantasies and dreams; the blood of s.s.b-b is always freshened by new posters! (It helps distract us from the flame wars!)