What is “fisting”?

What is “fisting”?

Everyone (well, almost everyone) knows what finger-fucking is. Whether in ass or pussy, it’s terrifically enjoyable to stroke someone inside. (Fingers up a man’s ass, if aimed properly, will tickle his prostate gland, which feels AMAZINGLY good… just...
Why is whipping fun?

Why is whipping fun?

One way of thinking about whipping is as another way of touching someone. People who are just getting into SM frequently play with spanking; it’s fun to be spanked! It’s a punishment, it’s a strong stimulus, it hurts very pleasurably. But if...
What’s the deal with this anonymity stuff?

What’s the deal with this anonymity stuff?

There are many people who post to soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm through the wizvax Anonymous Posting Service, and many others who post from pseudonymous accounts. The reasons are obvious; “kinky sex” in our society is stigmatized, and being openly interested...
How can I learn to be a good bottom?

How can I learn to be a good bottom?

It can also be hard to learn to bottom, if what you’re used to is topping. Giving up control, surrendering, can be a difficult thing, when you’re used to holding the reins in your hands. If you find yourself manipulating your top, trying to coerce them...
How can I learn to be a good top?

How can I learn to be a good top?

When first getting into the scene, it can often be somewhat intimidating to try playing with SM, especially if neither of you have done it before. Here’s this wonderful person, who wants you to dominate them. You tie them up, and they’re helpless,...
BDSM Resources

BDSM Resources

What are some web sites/books/magazines/organizations/stores/news archives where I can get SM information or toys, or meet people in the scene? Well, time does take its toll on the kinky businesses of the world. This list was always abbreviated but lately it has...
When is pain not pain?

When is pain not pain?

Often people outside the scene don’t see the appeal in any of the things SM people do that look painful. What’s enjoyable about being hit? Where’s the fun in getting bruised? Well, think about this. Have you ever had intense sex and afterwards...
Why is bondage fun?

Why is bondage fun?

Lots of reasons. For many people, the knowledge that they are helpless, that someone else can do things with their body and they can’t prevent them, is a powerful turn-on. “I’m going to make you come and there’s nothing you can do about...
Can someone really be someone else’s slave?

Can someone really be someone else’s slave?

This is the last question in another guise. Is it possible for there to be consensual non-consensuality? That is, can someone agree to be in a situation from which they cannot escape, and to live that way? This topic can inspire flame wars, as follows: historical...
Isn’t the bottom always in control?

Isn’t the bottom always in control?

One of the paradoxes of SM revolves around consensuality. Everything in SM is consensual; although the top is in control, it was the bottom’s choice to allow the top to _be_ in control. And since most of the time the top is trying to keep the bottom happy, and...
What is a “safeword”?

What is a “safeword”?

One of the thrills of SM is that it can stretch your limitations. If you enjoy this sort of play, you can naturally find yourself trying more and more new things, accepting greater and greater levels of sensation, doing and feeling more than you’ve ever done or...
Why am I defending SM?

Why am I defending SM?

One of the problems with SM is the social programming against it. Our culture isn’t used to the idea that sex is fun and pushing one’s limits in search of pleasure is a damned enjoyable thing to do. Moreover, there are many people who confuse fantasy and...
Is anal sex safe? Why do people do it?

Is anal sex safe? Why do people do it?

Anal sex, practiced properly, is as safe as any other kind of sex. And people do it because it feels good–the anus can be an intensely erogenous zone. In fact, far more straight people than gay people practice anal sex! The anus contains more nerve endings than...
The alt.sex.bondage FAQ List

The alt.sex.bondage FAQ List

This page contains sexual discussion. If you do not want to read sexually explicit material, please obtain software which allows you to block it out on your system. This FAQ Has Evolved! The soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ list is the new incarnation of this FAQ. Go...
What are the “codes”?

What are the “codes”?

Often the “hanky code” is mentioned on s.s.b-b. What is it? It’s a tradition in the scene that if you’re into certain types of activities you can indicate them by wearing a handkerchief in either your left or right back pockets. The color...
Is BDSM sexual?

Is BDSM sexual?

This is one of those troublingly general questions that simply begs for a flame war. There is no shortage of kinky people who get turned on by kinky behavior. There is also no shortage of kinky people that don’t. And then there are the kinky people who find some...